“The look on my mums face, she was very distraught and kind of just ignored it and walked away.”
WARNING: This site features very frank and occasionally explicit accounts of personal experiences of sex — parental guidance is recommended
This video mentions coming out, sexual identity, parents, and gay
By that time I was certainly aware that I was homosexual and determined that it wasn’t going to be somebody else’s problem, I was keeping it all to myself and all under wraps.”
“The look on my mums face, she was very distraught and kind of just ignored it and walked away.”
“I phoned everyone that I knew that was of any importance to me, all on the same day. And there were a few people that I had very odd reactions from.”
“In a way it’s harder to come out as bisexual because it’s less understood and because people immediately think 'Oh actually he’s gay, he's just denying it'. ”
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Posted by mvtshzcrjt on 23rd Oct at 4:37PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 15 and I am gay. At first I thought it would be hard to tell my mum because of my religion but my mum just accepted it and got on with her life. But I told my friend many months before telling my mum as it makes it easier to handle.”
Posted by Usman on 4th Oct at 12:02AM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out to a few friends at work but now ever since it has gone around work not many talk to me like they used to, But i told my mum aswell and she always new i was but i cannt tell my dad as he would flip my brothers know aswell and sister and they are fine with it.”
Posted by Brian on 7th Aug at 8:45AM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out about 5 months ago now and It was a weird experience as I had told my close friends a few months earlier and all of them were ok with it so I thought what the hell I will tell everyone. So I posted it on Facebook, I found that so much easier than talking to anyone face to face. I was expecting a lot of homophobic comments but it was different everyone accepted it and anyone who said anything I just ignored and it has all gone, now I can have a laugh about it with my mates but it was when I came out that I discovered a few of my mates were gay, lesbian or bisexual. My life has been a lot better now that I told people. :)”
Posted by Matt on 28th May at 7:24PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think there is nothing wrong with being gay. i have a relitive who is gay. and im not botherd i thnk its people with gay relitives or friend tend not to care they no its just life.”
Posted by jazmyne on 12th May at 11:23AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm almost 18 and I came out when I was 16. I always knew I was gay but never wanted to admit it so it ate me up and ruined most of my fifth form. I lied about everything without meaning even needing to, wagged school a lot and always failed at school work until one day my mum found me walking home and picked me up. In the car she started yelling at me telling me why I was acting up. she started saying that I am hanging out with the wrong crowd and picking up their habits. She kept yelling that I've changed and that I am not like the little boy she used to know. I started crying then yelled back that I was gay. She went quiet then told me that I'm not and that she was going to complain to the school that I was being bullied, she told I was not gay and to not believe what people tell me. I was angry and frustrated and kept saying to myself that I hate her. But because of that I began to feel relieved and could breathe better. I had another good cry and realized I am who I am and don't give a stuff what people think. The next day I told my sister and my cousins. They cried and started saying stuff like "so who do you like then at school" and " we kinda thought so thanks for telling us the truth". The next week I told everyone at school and my life became easier and more breezy. Surprisingly some mates I hardly talk to came up to me and told me their secrets which they are to scared to reveal. I had heaps of hugs that week and life was awesome. The only people I will never tell is the church and my dad. My parents are very strong belief in Christ and it will kill my dad if I ever tell him.
Being gay makes it very to believe in god and stuff like that and I don't know what to do about that. All I know is that I'm very happy the way I am and will never let anyone change who I am. I'm also very sorry if this comment is too long.
”
Posted by [No First Name Suplied] on 26th Apr at 5:59AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 42 and came out (after many really difficult years) when I was 18. I was at uni, came home for the xmas break, came out to my mum then went back to uni. We only spoke off and on for 6 months after that; then she told my dad and he accepted it without question - it helped that he'd been in the Navy! Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've been with my partner now for almost 19 years - we met when I was 24. My parents adore my partner and treat him as another son. I wish that I had the benefit of knowing what I know now and the ability to tell my younger self that everything would work out fine. I tried to commit suicide when I was 17 and I'm so glad that I didn't succeed. I suppose what I really want to say is that no matter how bad/difficult things might appear to be if you've come out, (or are thinking of coming out) and it hasn't gone well, stick with it - things will work out okay. True friends and true family will stick by you no matter what. If family/friends don't stick by you, leave them to get on with it and fill your life with people who won't judge you by what you get up to in bed (or what they think you get up to!) but who judge you for the person you are. It's taken 42 years to get to this point and I'm glad I'm there!”
Posted by John on 15th Apr at 5:33PM (flag as inappropriate)
I once read bisexuals may tend to sort of add their second side to their sexuality at a certain point in their lives. This is what seems to have happened to me. I used to consider myself gay but then, on and off, I would be attracted to the opposite sex. I am now 32 and would rather stick to my original gay sexuality and can't help those bisexual phases. I realise some people would certainly be gald to be able to be attracted to the opposite sex to the extent to which I am, but my experience is that this incapability of deciding and focusing on one gender is unbearable. it is like, say, two different channels' visions overlapping and projecting themsleves on each other. You can't really concentrate on a person sexually, let alone form a relationship. All this leads me to think that bi- and homosexuality are simply disorders.You are just subject to a variable extent.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 13th Apr at 2:34PM (flag as inappropriate)
I still don't know how to come out, I'm only 14. I half told my mum before and she said it's absolutely ridiculous and rejected the whole idea. I don't want to tell her, or anyone really because they will just laugh. What can I do?!?”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 12th Apr at 11:25PM (flag as inappropriate)
hello im 23 years old, i have always know i was gay but i had quite a difficult time accepting it, mainly because of all the negative views of people around me, i tried to ignor it and went out with girls all through school probably to hide who i realy was,but when the girl wanted to take the next step in the relationship "sex" i ran a mile, i feel terible when i look back now and see how those poor girls must have felt. in year 10 i moved area and started a new school, a new start, i descided i wasn't going to hide any more , i openly admitted i was gay, i may have been a bit flamboient with it wich caused me a lot of trouble with bullies , but it was nice to be my self and have friends that liked me for who i realy was and not someone i pretended to be. i didnt come out to my family for about two years later there were mixed fealings there. my mum was very supportive and welcomed me with open arms, on the other hand my father just growled and walked out and wouldnt talk about it , after a while he realised it was not a faze and that ignoring it wasnt going to make it go away and that it was driving a big wedge between us, so we talked about it , he told me i was his son and he loved me whatever choices i made, he asked me to not rub it in his face which i agreed not to, he still has issues with my sexuality but with every year that goes buy he seems more accepting and supportive, my brothers were very much like my dad but they came round to, i think what realy made everyone realise that it wasnt a faze was when i found my longterm partner who i live with now, i honestly never thaught i would see the day when there would be a family photo with me and my partner in and both of us be invited to family functions and welcomed, but that day has happened, i am so happy in life now and its all because i stopped lieing to myself and accepted who i realy was and had the strength to show it no matter what, i'm not saying that coming out was easy ... far from it but in the long run has made me a very happy man. please be true to yourself,!”
Posted by jamie on 12th Apr at 1:32PM (flag as inappropriate)
Some of what Peter said is stuff I experienced. My family were 'blue rinse' conservatives, which made it very awkward to broach the subject. Whenever a news item about gay rights would come on TV news my mum would roll her eyes and dad would repeat the old homophobic mantra "Oh, they're legalising a lower age of consent for gays, next thing you know they'll be legalising peadophilia". I know that sounds really homophobic and vile now, but it was the late eighties and amongst the conservative set homophobia was a lot more widely accepted that it would be today.
I first became aware of same-sex attraction back at secondary school age 13-14, but just wrote it off as a phase I was going through. I now know this is a symptom called denial, and not unusual for gay people brought up with the pressure to conform to straight norms. I made furtive glances at other guys in the shower room at school, but convinced myself that was "just comparing, nothing sexual about that". I got caught doing it one time, and I got teased mercelessly for a year or two.
It was only when I reached the age of about 21 that I started to realise this so-called 'phase I was going through' wasn't going anywhere.
But I still didn't have the confidence to out myself. A flatmate in my student digs took me to the house of her gay friends. They got me drunk and one thing lead to another. I found myself enjoying my first experience, but my cowardly streak tried to put it down to the drink and pretend nothing had happened. These 'friends' turned out to be the worst introduction I could have had to gay men as they used that gossip they had on me as leverage to steal my stuff when they came to visit my housemate. Fortunately, the next year a gay guy enroled on my course who showed me that the gay-bitch stereotype was the exception rather than the rule. He was kind and funny and although he had a boyfriend by the time I was ready to out myself properly, I realised all the negative stereotypes about gay people I'd been brought up with were rediculous sweeping generalisations.
M y overprotective mum gave me a lift back from the station one summer break and told me "Your sister has a new boyfrind now... I suppose you're going to tell me you have a girlfriend". My mischevous streak kicked in and although I wasn't hitched at the time I decided to test the water... "No mum, I have a boyfriend too!" She nearly crashed the car. I quickly backtracked and said "Just kidding" after which she said something which has haunted me to this day "Oh, well it's just as well you don't have a boyfriend otherwise I'd kill him, then I'd kill you". I was shocked she could be so brutal, but it was impossible to know whether she really meant it or not. What if she killed me in my sleep?
So that kept me in the closet for another 5 years, but eventually I found more gay friends on a subsequent course and found the confidence to finally come out to them. It took until I was 29 to come out to my mum, and like Peter's story, she tried every trick in the book to steer the conversation away from the big reveal, trying to guilt-trip me by offering to pay for a new saxophone [something she knew I'd wanted for a while] or even a new house. However I didn't want to take any bribes under false pretenses, so I left it until the last day of a visit over Easter and broke the news. That way if it went badly wrong I still had my escape route planned!
Her first reation was "Well I think you're stupid" then she started blaming friends who "Made me gay" as if they'd waived a magic wand or something, then the "It's just a phase" line. Eight years of psychological denial added to a further 7 years of being officially in the closet told me this was no phase.
After letting her unburden all her pent up anger, I realised her death threat was just exagguration, she just wanted to bolt the closet door shut for fear of getting hurt.
I told her about a flatmate I had in Manchester who's parents were also very conservative. Her brother took his life after a sham straight marriage he was forced into went bad. My mum started to realise the damage she was doing and fell silent. There were tears, there was reproach, she made me promise not to tell anyone else in my family for fear of giving my Dad a second stroke. But compared to the nightmare scenario I'd built up in my head it was nowhere near as bad as I expected. She called me on the way back to Manchester to tell me that whoever I was, she still loved me. I came to realise there is never going to be that perfect day when the sun is shining and birds are singing in the trees and the planets align that makes it a perfect day to come out. If people want to hear it - they do, and if they don't they don't, no matter what mood they're in. For me it was like lancing a boil... painful, but you feel so much better for having done it. I'm still not officially out to the rest of my family (though i suspect my sister and brother have guessed it anyway). It was just something I had to do before the secrecy drove me mad. And though the subject has never come up again, my mum and me are still talking.”
Posted by Rupert on 8th Apr at 9:46AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm slightly different to most people in the way that I'm out. I'm 18 and I'm gay, but I really don't care. I realised I was gay when I was in a sexual relationship with a girl and after that both me and her were the only people that knew. After she accepted the fact that she'd 'turned' me she built up my confidence about who I am, because I was worried to begin with. She made me realise that being gay doesn't actually matter, so don't make it matter. So, I never go out of my way to tell people I'm gay (unless I'm trying to pull and I suspect someone is gay, so I drop hints!) but if people ask me if I am, I will say yes, but nothing more, there's not much to talk about. I just like guys. If people don't ask me I won't tell them or advertise that I am deliberately. Most people I know know that I'm gay because they have heard from other people in general conversation, but my parents don't. This is for the same reason. I don't know whether they would accept it or reject it, but at the end of the day I don't think it matters, so why tell them? If I was straight I wouldn't tell them that I'm straight for confirmation, so what's the difference? If they ask I will tell them. I don't think being gay is important, so why make it an issue for everyone else to deal with, and I rarely get any homophobic abuse against me as a result. People respect me for the way that I've just accepted it with myself and not let it affect my life in any way other than who I'm sleeping with, because people don't really care or want to hear about it, so I don't force it down their throats.”
Posted by Max on 8th Apr at 1:09AM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 16 and in the closet, I go to an all boys school and would be bullied alot if I came out. My family are Christians and truely disagree with gays, however it maybe a bit obvious as I have never went out with a girl.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 7th Apr at 10:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out when I was 21. I had a crush on a woman who I had been working with and knew to be gay. I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out for a drink, which didn't go well. I felt that this had been my first step in accepting my own sexuality, but continued to struggle in coming to terms with myself. My Mum was very upset- we argued and she shouted at me, asking if I liked sleeping with women- I had only experienced this once, but knew this was what felt right for me. I worried about telling one of my close female friends as I was concerned that she would think I fancied her, but that wasn't the case and we are still good friends. After a couple of short relationships, I have been in a FANTASTIC and very loving relationship with my partner now for 8 and a half years, we celebrated our Civil Partnership just under 2 and a half years ago and are a very normal couple; no stereo-types in our household I'm afraid! My family are now very supportive and love my partner and my in-laws are also wonderful. Next step, children we hope!”
Posted by Amanda on 7th Apr at 7:46AM (flag as inappropriate)
I knew I was attracted to men at the age of 13. I had friends who enjoyed messing about sexually and this confirmed it for me. I stayed closetted however throughout this period and through the next 10 years where I dated women but breaking up before the whole having sex issue began. When I got my own place at 23 my life began to change as I met a lovely lad over the internet. He lived in london, which was quite a distance from myself and I had chosen such a distance as not to bring my 2 worlds together. I was open and happy when down in london and my boyfriend was really helpful in bringing me to terms with my sexuality. After a year the relationship ended due to the distance, although we still maintain contact some 10 years later. With more confidence I found a few different partners closer to home and came out to my brother who was brilliant. When I told him I was anxious and expected something massive to happen and when he said that he was cool with it and there was no big deal, there was a feeling of almost disappointment although great relief. When I found my life partner I was given further confidence when he came out to his mother and introduced me as his partner and she was really supportive. After speaking it out with my brother and partner I spoke with my mom, I had a huge heart to heart with her where we cried, hugged, and drank a lot of wine and she was just sad that I had waited till I was 33 to be myself. I left her to tell my dad who she told the next morning and who I avoided for the next week, however my brother had taken him for a drink and he was ok with it. Since then me and my now fiance have been abroad with my parents, we have a normal and happy life and coming out was the best thing I ever did.”
Posted by Brett on 4th Apr at 2:25AM (flag as inappropriate)
From the age of 14 I knew there was somethig different about me, when my friends started bragging about snogging girls and I didn't find the idea all that appealing. The first person I told was my best friend, unfortunately that didn't turn out so well as she saw us ending up being together(don't ask me why). We ended up not talking which obviously left me a little bit vulnerable but by 17yrs of age I couldn't keep it a secret any longer.
I wrote a long letter to my mum and dad explaining my predicament, then sat in my room waiting for them to come and throw me out. Fortunately for me I have the most understanding parents in the world and now everyone in my family knows and is not fussed in the slightest. I know this scenario doesn't happen with everyones family but not coming out can be more destructive than coming out.
You can atleast be yourself and eventually your parents will come around when they start realising you havn't really changed at all.”
Posted by Adam on 3rd Apr at 4:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
I've been gay since i was about 11, i'm now sixteen, but recently i've had more confidence in myself and i've told 3 of by best friends (all girls cos my friends who are boys would just ignore me for the rest of my life). i'm pretty sure that my parents know tht i'm gay. I really want to come out but the only thing thats stopping me is the bullying that i will get, i mean i'm already bullied a lot as it is and if it got any worse i don't know what i would do.”
Posted by Sam on 2nd Apr at 10:41PM (flag as inappropriate)
I've been gay since i was about 11, i'm now sixteen, but recently i've had more confidence in myself and i've told 3 of by best friends (all girls cos my friends who are boys would just ignore me for the rest of my life). i'm pretty sure that my parents know tht i'm gay. I really want to come out but the only thing thats stopping me is the bullying that i will get, i mean i'm already bullied a lot as it is and if it got any worse i don't know what i would do.”
Posted by Sam on 2nd Apr at 10:41PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im now 17 and i am came out when i was 15 in year 11. i wasnt planning on coming untill i had finished school because i didnt want people to know, people already called me gay and i didnt want it to get any worse. when i was younger i had a feeling i was gay but thought i could hide it and live life with out it affecting me, but obvousily tyhis wasnt true. i eventually told one of my good mates at the time to cheer her up cause she was upset and she was suprised but she loved it, i then told my english teacher who i was quite close with. i then told my other colse friends and asked that they would keep it a secret untill i had done my GCSE's. i then went on easter holiday and told my parents who were fine with it, my dad was a bit wierd about it but said as long as i dont push it in his face he would be fine with it. during the easter holidays though somehow my secret got out and everybody found out i was gay, so when i walked back into school the playground went silent and everyone loked at me. for the rest of the week i was the talk of the whole school as i was the only gay person in the school. after that week past nearly all the girls had come up to me and even the ones i had once hated and tehy hated me where all friendly, and around 95% of the boys didnt say anythig nasty because they all thought i had alot of courage and so respected me. i am so glad it did come out as i could then finish my school days without having to worry about people finding out. i am now 17 and in college where i openly gay to everyone and everyone accepts it and i have been in a releationship for nearly 14 monthes now =]”
Posted by Jake on 2nd Apr at 1:10PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 18, I count myself as Bi because I am still attracted to females and males. I know what it's like to have members of your family thing that homosexuality is totally wrong and as one member of my family put it 'all gays should be shot at birth, there is something mentally wrong with them.'
I found it best to tell my colest friend and then tell a few more, especially the people I could trust. I waited until I was out of school and in college/work.
I haven't told my parents but a few members of my family know and they took it well as did all my friends.
I suppose the best thing you could do is be yourself and you'll know when the time is right to tell people. Oh and only tell the people you trust.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 2nd Apr at 1:10AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm 23, gay and only been fully out for a year. Coming out wasn't the experience I thought it would be. Sexuality to me is only a small part of my identity. A lot of people say they 'would never have guessed'. When I told my parents, they didn't and still don't really understand, but I understood that they still see me as family and as long as I respected the fact that it would take them almost as long as I needed to get my head around the fact I am gay, they would continue to love me unconditionally.
T he few things that held me back from coming out was that I lived with my parents, I couldn’t relate to anyone else that was gay (people I knew, role models from TV etc.) and whether coming out would change my personality.
A few years ago, I started working on the (gay) scene and it really opened my eyes. I meet people of all sorts of backgrounds and it helped me understand my situation better too. ”
Posted by Andy on 1st Apr at 11:30PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 18 years old and i "came out" to my parents about a year and a half ago. I never ever thought they would except me because of how they reacted to homosexual references on the TV and in films. With the help of my boyfriend who really helped me i managed to get the words out "i am gay". My mum seemed to be ok with it and so did my dad but my dad accepted it more than my mum which surprised me. She said i was too young and that i didn't really know what i was talking about but inside i knew! Don't be afraid to come out because people are more understanding than you think. If your friends decide that they don't want to be your friend anymore then its there loss and they weren't really your friends in the first place! I hope this has helped some people.”
Posted by ben on 1st Apr at 9:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
I have known i was gay since i was 9 and I am 19 now, What has stopped me is my family and friends have reputations and are well respected in my area wat to do?”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 1st Apr at 7:17PM (flag as inappropriate)
When I was about 17 I started to fancy males as well as females. It was an awfull time because I couldn't understand why I was feeling like this. When I was about 18 I had my first experience with a guy. I enjoyed it but then again I was so confused. I chose to ignore it and started seeing females one after the other but still my thoughts of males didn't go away. At this time in my life I wanted it to go away like I had a terminal disease and I couldn't get rid of it. When I was 19 I took an overdose, the biggest mistake in my life! I confinded in my cousin, she told me to tell my parents because I wasn't being the person I was suppose to be. I told my mum at this time that I was bisexual. When I was 20 I started seeing a female only because I was worried that my parents were unhappy and I felt I should make them happy. This didn't work as i was unhappy and I felt awfull as I was leading the poor lass on. After being together for 8 months I broke up with her, luckily we are still mates! When I was about 22 I decided enough is enough and told my parents that I am gay. They were very upset at first. All I thought was am I letting them down. I moved out to give my self space and time to lead my own life. I started internet dating and in 2007 I met Mark, we have been together over 2 years now, have our own house and my parents, family and friends think hes great. I've never been so happy in my life! The lesson to learn is to think about yourself sometimes in life, it is not selfish! At the end of the day you have to make yourself happy and live the life you want to not to make anyone else happy!”
Posted by Chris on 1st Apr at 1:12PM (flag as inappropriate)
i fount out that i was gay a year ago and i told everyone straight awy everyone was ok with it and my family understand now and i am open about my sexuality i have never had any problems and now i am enjoying my life now i am out the thing is i am 16 and can not wait till i am older to no what it is like x”
Posted by Alex on 1st Apr at 11:08AM (flag as inappropriate)
With hindsight, I knew I was gay when I was about 8/9yrs old. I used to fancy the hunk in the film Supergirl! I went to an all boys secondary school so that was hell/confusion for five years and it wasn't until I left and went to college to do my A-Levels that I met a great group of friends and one of them helped me come out, although I never actually came out as such, it was mainly just assumed within my group of friends. During that time I also dabbled with the label bisexual because in some sense, to me at least, I saw it as a safety word, i.e. I still like women so it's OK i'm not totally gay and therefore I wouldn't be completely rejected by my parents. Of course, I knew deep down I was gay!
I'm an only child and so I remember being very aware of the impact it would have on them and many nights I would cry myself to sleep (sounds dramatic but sadly true) because I wanted to tell them the truth but was afraid of the repercussions. I got a part time job, saved some money and at the age of 19 came out to my family. I was determined to be out by 20 and if things did go horribly wrong, I'd have some money behind me. The cliched thing is, my mother already knew! She left one of her magazines open in which there was an artcle about a mother coming to terms with her gay daughter. My mother helped me out of the closet. I was very lucky in that respect, and it transpired she had been warning my father that it might be leading to it for several months. My father went very quiet and didn't really talk to me for about a month. In fact, he finally opened up by presenting me with a letter saying that he just needed time to come to terms with it but loved me, despite of it. (We now have a very good relationship)
I' ve been out to my friends and their families for 13yrs now and my family for 10years. Again, with hindsight I had a very lucky coming out experience.”
Posted by Lewis on 1st Apr at 10:22AM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out in a weird horrible way to my parents i never told any1 becuz i was ashamed and confused about it all even though i was 100% sure i was gay. The thourght of telling my rents and friends was the worst but when my friends kept askin me wat girls i like and i replyed none they then asked it was difficult to say but i told them it was hard to say and still is a little to some people due to i dont know how people will react my mum and dad are cool and dont treat me any different i dont know if my sister and brother no but my dad did say he thinks i might of been so now people know its like a weight off my shoulders and i can do stuff in my life i didnt want to ages ago because people wouldnt know”
Posted by andrew on 1st Apr at 9:31AM (flag as inappropriate)
Hi, i'm 18. I think i've alway sknown from a very young age that there was something 'different about me.' Just a bit less than a year ago, i came out to my mum who just laughed it off and was surprised about how nervous i was. I am lucky, she said she loves me no matter what and being gay means nothing to her. My dad said it could be a phase, but that the gay issue really doesnt matter to him anyway. When I was 15, I went out with a goal for about 3 months which was fun, but to be honest, i'd be lying if i said i was sexually attracted to her. Shortly after i broke up, i had a sexual experience with a friend (general groping etc, not sex.) My main issue is, i've only ever had this kind of things with a guy, and i go to an all boys sixth form. I dont spend much time around girls. Is there any chance that at somewhere like uni where i interract a lot more with girls, that i may find them more sexually attractive? Unfortunately, being straight is something i do wish for. A girl may pass me and i think, 'oh she's pretty fit,' but would not picture anything sexual. Perhaps i'm just fooling myself, but i hope one day i'll be attracted to girls. I've always envisaged myself with a wife and kids. I think part of my problem is that im attracted to guys that I wish I was more like... Sad, really isnt it?”
Posted by Jamie on 31st Mar at 11:40PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out when I was 18. I told my best friend at the time first. At the time I wasent quite ready to tell my parents. But they asked me at one point and I knew if I was ever asked, I would never say I wasent. So I never relly needed to sit down with them to tell them. It was over in a matter of seconds. We never really got round to talking about it. They just accepted it. I now have a boyfriend and thats allowed me to talk more freely about being gay to them. I am lucky my parents are very accepting and im greatful for that. Shortly after my parents found out I told my close friends and they were all great about it. Aslong as my parents and friends are fine with it, I dont care what anyone else thinks. Im happy.
Its a bigger deal to you than it will be to anyone else, 'specially in this day and age. You know the people your going to tell, you'll know there reactions. Just take it one step at a time!”
Posted by James on 31st Mar at 10:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm not sure... I'm 14 and very confused because I feel things for both sexes... I stressed also because all of my friends apart from one are homophobic! The other friend is a girl and she bi anyway! At my school I get called gay all the time and I would get bullied soo much if I came out... I not even sure if I'm gay or not though ... Is it a phase???”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 9:42PM (flag as inappropriate)
One problem for me is that my friends are very immature, I know hat if I came out then they would hold this against me, like they have done with previous incidents. I always say to myself that I will come out then always chicken out, it is impossible to find the right time/place and I think that I will not be accepted for who I am!!!!!”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 9:22PM (flag as inappropriate)
hi johns im 14 and i came out 2 my brother last week and now my mom knows aswell. my brother used 2 be totally against gays but wen i tld him he was really ok with it and said as long as im happy hes happy and my mom is ok with it aswell. i never talk 2 em bout it at all though. i had already came out 2 loads in my school boys and girls sure some of the boys are wierd around me but most arent and u can have a laugh with em. now im not sayin that you will have the same reactions as i did but my advice is not 2 get 2 worried about it because although ur parents may noy like it im sure they will want u 2 be happy no matter what your lifestyle is and although i tld most people b4 i tld my parents i am more confident and find it easier 2 tell people because at the end of the day as long as your friends and family are ok with who cares about any1 else. and also dnt judge a book by its cover because i thought my brother would disown me because he was never nice when talking about gay people but he was when i tld im so i hope this helps u.”
Posted by dean on 31st Mar at 9:18PM (flag as inappropriate)
i was 14 when i told my parents and all they did was shrug and didnt bother and when i moved here from australia i knew straight away that i need to tell them that i was gay so they could accept me for who i am and now i am 18 and i think it was the best discussion i have made”
Posted by Jamie on 31st Mar at 9:14PM (flag as inappropriate)
I've known I was gay since I was about 12 really. Now I'm 15, and I've been out for 3 months and its FANTASTIC. Recently, a friend had a crush on me, I asked him out and now we're in a very loving relationship.”
Posted by Alex on 31st Mar at 9:11PM (flag as inappropriate)
I have always known i was gay,
when i was in year 9 i told 3 people i was BI. 3 people i thought i could trust.
when i returned to school in year 10 pritty much my whole school knew. This year was really hard for me i lost quite a few friends, but made a hell of a lot more who i am still friends with. By year 11 people had got over the fact i was gay and seemed to leave me alone only every now and then trying to use it as an insult but it really didnt bother me. year 12 and 13 were really easy, everyone had matured loads and i was able to be myself and have two amazing years with my friends. in my first year at uni now im 18. life is so good, obviously people are going to be curiouse about your sexuality but i dont mind telling them im just very open, ive been with my bf now 4 19months and things are great.
if you are comming out i surgest tell friends who you can trust tell your parents you will be surprised they can be very supportive my dad was homophobic and dug at gays but he doesnt now and he has to accept who i am.
if you cant accept who you are how do you expect others too. times have changed and everyone is alot more surportive than you think.”
Posted by michael on 31st Mar at 9:04PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am 16 and have know i was gay since i was 13. I am still in 'the closet'. I have tried telling my mum but i just chickend out, all though i think she knows that i am gay because she has a gay friend who she works with and she is always talking about how he's funny and its ok to be gay aslong as your a good person. If my dad knew i was gay and the rest of my family infact, half of them would disown me. I have not told anyone at school as most of them would never talk to me again and i would probs get beat up. My best friend is the biggest goss and wouldnt be able to keep it a secret. I am also a valunteer for a well know charity organisation and there are two friends of mine there who are out and gay but they are much older than me - i tried telling on of them but all he did was try and get me with someone, which i didnt want at the time, but now i am 16 and want a BF someone who i can love and hold hands ect... I think that the year 2009 and will be my 'coming out' year! Hopefully
Love the show by the way!”
Posted by Tom on 31st Mar at 7:57PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im not gay, but if my friends told me they were, I wouldn't care one bit. Gay is always used as an insult in my school, but we are not refering to homosexualitly; its is more out of habit than for offence. Tbh, I think if someone came out as gay in our school they would probs be thought of as a bit of a champion and an individual...its truly up to you to tell people: If you have a close mate and they tell you everything, tell them first as they can help you slowly tell others. But it is completly your choice how - so treasure the responsiblity!”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 2:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
Firstly this site is great! Thanks peter this is really great advice. I am sure many will appreciate your openness. Its always hard, coming out. I am currently in a very hard place, as I am unsure if I am fully gay. I am 14 and am really concerned that some of my closest friends will no longer want to talk to me. I am also concerned about some of my mannerisms are turning into ones which are stereotypically gay - I really don't want to become "that gay" and still want to remain a man. I am confident my family will support me but coming out and I am sure it will be very hard, the first time anyway. Thanks again for all the comments it has helped me greatly.”
Posted by Jon on 31st Mar at 12:29AM (flag as inappropriate)
Regrets, I've had a few, sounds familiar? ....In or out? well, both actually.... coming out has been totally impossible for me and yet at the same time utterly vital. Which basically means I'm out but with one foot stuck in the closet unfortunately. Basically, my parents and a few of my friends still don't know. One thing that I should say is my dads attitude when I was young and indeed a current prevailing state of mind, and by that I mean he suffers from stress still stops me from telling him now and therefore mum too. I'll also echo Peter's video comments from above in as much as don't want it to be anybody else's problem..... I had the opportunity when I was about 16 to say something to my dad but I felt too uncomfortable and couldn't get the words out. I feel now, and I'm 41, that if that conversation had happened with my mum the outcome would've been different and my life so far could have been totally different. With my friends it has been a gradual thing.. maybe I've made a nod towards the fact that I'm gay and let them figure it out themselves to a point that they've openly asked me... which I'll always answer truthfully, and of course everyone has been great and supportive about it when I've told them. My sis was the best though, or the easiest as she told me! and still remains my closest friend today. I think the point is though, that I wish I'd been braver when the opportunity had arisen in the first place because at this moment in time I do have regrets. Everyone is different and does things in their own way, that's a maxim that I'll always believe and support in other people.. this has been my way and for the life of me I wish I'd done things differently because I do feel that I've missed out on a big part of my life and whilst I've never lied to anyone I feel like they've never known the real me. As it is I'm happy, I've got a lot of great friends both gay and straight and I'm lucky enough live my life the way I want to and I guess you can't say fairer than that. Lately I've been under the impression that they've figured it all out anyway but don't want me to confirm anything.... I'm happy enough to go along with that for now.. but if only I'd been braver when I was younger.”
Posted by Tony on 30th Mar at 9:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out when I was 22. That was some twelve years ago. The only reason didn't come out earlier was because I didn't want to upset my grandmother, who was a strict Catholic and secondly, I was a late bloomer when it came to clubbing. When I did come out, I told it to those who were close to me -friends from school, parents. The only people I didn't tell were the boys I went to rugby with, knowing what they were like”
Posted by Jim on 30th Mar at 9:44PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out to my friends one friend each day which i know sound rather childish but i knew that i had to coz they would keep it to their self ahaa,i gradually got to my best friend as i knew she would have a bit of trouble getting her head around it. the night came and i had to tell her she took it how i expected, after talking with her mum she came round to the idea that having a gay best mate was FUN ! she then told me i had to tell my family, i felt i was living a lie not tellin them, i was speaking to my friend from scotland one night over msn, she told me her friend came out and he started with the closest person to him, she told me to do it this way. 2.30am, after thinking and worrying, i gained the courage i went to speak to the closest person to me, my nana she was okie with it, she then told the rest of my family the person who had the problem was my mum who didnt speak to me for 1 week, i foned her and told her how immature it was and i am what i am she replied change your ways, i put the fone down on her, this made herr relaize. know she is kool with it everybody is even my dad. i was 14 when i came out to them and it was the most nerve racking thing i have ever done but i am not living a lie and i felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders. WOHOOO. i couldnt careless hat other people think about the way i am. GAY . i am know 16 and lifee is so good within the gay nation. X”
Posted by scott on 30th Mar at 9:39PM (flag as inappropriate)
I am almost 40 and you might wonder why I would be watching the programme... well because even after all these years it's easy to recall being in your teen's and not knowing what it is all about. If you are gay it's even tougher. I waited until I was 30 and all my friends said 'at last' and were really happy for me. They were so disappointed that I had spent my 20s on my own. Would I do things differently now? Who knows? You have to do what is right for you but I think I only became myself (I could have a drink without fearing I might tell someone....) as I relaxed with people and let my guard down. It was and still is only a small part of who I am and that's all.”
Posted by David on 30th Mar at 9:23PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 15 and im completley sure im gay i tell my self everyday that im not but im just kidding myself. i had a girl friend for a year and a half during the first 6 months i could have sex with her no bother but on the 7th month i had a "gay experience" and after that all i could do was think about boys i couldent hit an erection for girls ..even seeing a guy with his shirt of would arouse me i couldent even go in to the locker room to get changed i was that scared incase the boys seen me looking at them..my whole community are complete homo's i asked my friends what they would do if i turned gay the girls say it would be awsome a gay best friend but the guys all told me that they couldent act the same and would eventuaully lose contact with me ..this scared me so much..anytime there is a gay moment on tv my family are disgusted and this makes me really upset but i have 2 play along with it. im afraid this will affect my entier life i always pictured my self with a wife and kids but thats totally ruined. how do i tell my parents i really need some good advice ive been trying 2 tell them for a year now and every day im having fun that pops in to my head that im diffrent!”
Posted by john on 30th Mar at 9:06PM (flag as inappropriate)
i found out i was gay a year ago but it took me along time to tell my best friend but i knew he wouldn't mind because he has a gay in the family but then other people found out and some people are not bothered and act the same towards me as they did when they didn't know but some then are making it a joke but i've just learnt to get along with it now and if people ask me i will just be open with them but it has been hard for me”
Posted by Adam on 30th Mar at 8:59PM (flag as inappropriate)
Im 14 going on 15, i've known i was gay for a couple of years but dosn't know how to tell anyone,i've told my best friends but they kind of walking away slowly,this makes me not want to come out”
Posted by jack on 30th Mar at 8:58PM (flag as inappropriate)
This is a message for steve who left a message on here saying he was agy and in the cubaord, on oct 11.13am, i has a very simmlar experiance as what you are going thru right now, and when i did tell my mum and told her how much she had hurt by what she had done she addmitted it was because she new really and did not want to face up to it at that time,and i think your family are doing the same to you they already know you are gay, but they dont want you say anything because they can deal with it, it's not your problem it's thiers, it's thier fear they will not reject you, you to tell them and put a stop to this suffering now and make them face thier fears now, they know any way and in the end it will stop every body suffering from guilt. Simon.
trust me let me know how you get on with this I bett I am right.”
Posted by Simon on 20th Dec at 5:46AM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm now 18 and i only came out to my friends and family around my 18th birthday. I was always bullied by people about it before i came out. I thought that if i didnt tell anybody it would go away. It didn't and i felt myself becoming quite upset. I came out to my best friend who then told me that she was in fact gay! My mum was very supportive of me but i guess she already knew as did my brother and sister. My dad knows but i didn't tell him as i was scared what he would say, we haven't talked about it but we just get on with it. My mates seemed to be quite homophobic so it wasn't easy telling them. They all took it really well and although still make digs at me i have a whole new perspective on what they are saying. I feel so much happier now that i am out I'm not living a lie. My advice to other people who are unsure about coming out is to make sure your ready and not to let anyone push you into it. People can surprise you and to love yourself and people will love you just the way you are.”
Posted by Sam on 13th Dec at 1:19AM (flag as inappropriate)
Im currently 14 years of age. I am gay and i think this video is truly amazingly correct.
xx”
Posted by Josh on 31st Oct at 1:12AM (flag as inappropriate)
im 15, going on 16 and i have no idea how to tell anyone im gay. ive only told one of my best friends but i dont know how to tell my parents and family and closest friends. one time i was having a convisation with a few friends and they were saying how someone else came out to there parents and they thought it was weird. nowadays, if kids tell people there gay, there afraid if it passes around the school and they would be bullied for most of their lives. there also afraid that if they tell their closest friends and family that they would disown them and not talk to them for ages. its really hard. i wish they would have a book on this or something!!”
Posted by Adam on 29th Oct at 10:27PM (flag as inappropriate)
I'm fifteen nearly sixteen and am gay in the cupboard. My main problem is my family are all homophobes and my friends I've never really connected with. In my house anything comes on tv involving a gay and there's always a sly comment slipped in somewhere and it just becomes irritating. Problem is getting diswoned by my family at fifteen is not much of an option.”
Posted by steve on 28th Oct at 11:13AM (flag as inappropriate)
Is it right, after an incident that happened to me at my school, that my head of year rings my parents and tells my mum that i'm gay? i really wasnt ready to tell her, but i had to because she rang home and did it. I'm 16, and she took it fine, but i don't think i should have been basically forced to tell her.”
Posted by Josh on 25th Oct at 9:18PM (flag as inappropriate)
i understand that people who have come out think that it is easy to come out the coloset to their friends and family but its not i dont think i will ever say im gay because i would get more abuse and i can tell you now i get lots of verbal obuse at school”
Posted by joe on 21st Oct at 6:54PM (flag as inappropriate)
this is a response to Matt's comment to me! thank you for your kind words of wisdom and it doesn't matter that your 14 and don't know the whole situation its nice that you gave me some advice which in fact was some very good advice. at the moment i'm going to put off the 'coming out' to my dad for now as im in college and theres the stress of work that doesn't need to be topped off with stress with family life but i do however feel more confident to tell him, just maybe not face to face. is that wrong of me to be affraid to confront my dad face to face? ”
Posted by Alex on 21st Oct at 5:45PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 17 and openly gay and have been since i was 16, my perents know and so do all my friends and everyone in college but my real farther dosent. im sceared to tell him as hes always been a bit againsed anything different from the norm but dont know how to. my step farther dident realy understand it. will this happen to my real dad.”
Posted by martin on 16th Oct at 11:33AM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out the other day....im 17 and for me it was the right time and felt obliged to tell my parents first.....but not to their face i did it in a very long text and as we was texting eachother about the subject my mobile went dead and i didnt know whether they still loved me or not. So i went to them and they fully accepted me and didnt realy make much of a big deal about it......Although i think the only reason that you put it off for so long is because you are scared about acceptance....i was on the bus whilst texting and was shaking like a leaf and almost missed my stop as i was almost it tears......i think that coming out is different for everyone and depends upon you circumstances in life..........”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 15th Oct at 7:59PM (flag as inappropriate)
This is my response to alex's comment. i am only 14 and probably don't know your whole situation but the only thing i can say is... tell him! just tell him, the longer you hang up on thinking about telling your dad the less you will have the courage to. if he takes it well, then brill and, if he doesn't, that's his problem just think what a happy life you'll live knowing confidently who you are and not being afraid to admit it.”
Posted by matt on 14th Oct at 8:31PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am a 15 yr old and i have considerd myself gay for about, half a year. i havent really told any one apart from my two best freinds. one has accepted me , whilst the other just seems to mock me most of the time. this prevents me from telling most of my peers st school. the word 'gay' , is used in our school as a an insult. this is probably why not so many people wish to come out at an early age.i personally think that if im still gay at 18, i should tell my family and people who i care most.”
Posted by Thomas on 14th Oct at 8:17PM (flag as inappropriate)
im 15 and my best mates gay but only like me and his over real good mates and his sis know and to be fair im actually better mates with him now then i was before and its good cause when someone who dosnt know like are other mates start taking the piss out of gays and being quite offencive i start saying there being idiots theres nothing wrong with gays some of them rag me saying im gay but i dont care if it means my friend dosnt get bullied i used to be homophobic but its kind of made me see what gay and lesbian people do is amazing the strength and self belief you must hae to tell people.”
Posted by Andy on 11th Oct at 11:35PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out to my Mum when I was 21 although I was perfectly sure I was gay from a very young age. I think the thought of coming out is usually far more terrifying than the outcome. Deep down I always knew how people were going to react. My advice to anyone who is thiking about coming out is to trust your instinct, you know the people you are going to tell very well, it shouldn't be a surprise how they will react to the news, just taylor the approach to the individual. My Dad unfortunately died when I was plucking up the courage, I know how he would have reacted, he loved me and was a proud father, no news about my sexuality was going to change that, but it would have been nice to have had that actually confirmed. Be brave and trust you instincts. I have read other comments about coming out at school, I would never have done this!!!!”
Posted by Duncan on 11th Oct at 9:52AM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out when i was 19 when we moved to a new city. I met loads of young people who were in the same boat as me and it helped me build my confidence. I was having a great time and went to my first pride in london. I had some pictures taken of myself and my then boyfriend. Unfortunately my mum found these pictures and i got home one eveing to find them sat up waiting for me. They didn't take it well and both hit me a few times, before throwing me out. The next two weeks were hell and i would come home late in the evening around 11 to eat a extremely well cooked dinner which my mum would leave in the oven for hours. I moved out after two weeks as i couldn't handle it any more and we never spoke for 6 months. I now have a relationship with my parents, but they both had a break down due to my coming out and were on medication for a year. It has never been discussed since. I am to scared to bring it up encase i get the same reaction, and this was over ten years ago. I now find it very hard to attend family occasions as in my life i am out to every one work wise and social friends, and have been to a few weddings of cousins and can't prettend all day. I am glad i came out for my own bennefits but wish i could make my parents change there ways. I am at my most happiets being gay and my parents have missed out so much of my life, i only see them a few times a year now. As long as i am happy i believe that is all that matters if only the gay thing was more acceptable for my parents generation we wouldnt have to go through this.”
Posted by mark on 10th Oct at 11:58AM (flag as inappropriate)
i'm 35 and have not come out to my family. my mum and brothers are jehovah's witness's so i dare not tell them. i know they know but we don't mention it, however my cousin did ask me a few weeks ago and i quickly changed the subject, weather, emmerdale, cat hair on the carpet, anything but that! my mum has met my b/f and thinks he's just a good friend. (he is ok with this)
we're planning to buy a house and get married next year, not sure how to explain that tho. i kinda hope someone will see this so i won't have to say anything but i'm not that lucky!”
Posted by james on 9th Oct at 11:01PM (flag as inappropriate)
when i came out most of my family took it well exept my brother who cut all contact with me for the reason that i was a lesbian and he couldnt come to terms with it.”
Posted by sophie on 7th Oct at 8:46PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 16 and gay. i first kinda knew when i was in year 7 because i started to see boys more attractive and lost interest in the girls. i didn't come out until i was in year 10 to a very good friend who was supportive, it was only in year 11 when i told more people and every single friend i told was supportive so it was a great feeling to have, but they all asked if i told my parents, which at the time i hadn't. i went on holiday with a mate and no family, so i text my mum that i was gay because i just physically couldn't tell her face to face which i know was bad and cowardly. she asked if i wanted the other members in the family to know but i said no as i felt my dad wouldn't be near as supportive as my mum, i am now regreting that dicision as i have a boyfriend and i would like to be out to the whole family! if anyone knows as to how i could come out to my family i would be very greatful.”
Posted by Alex on 7th Oct at 8:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am and i havent been happyer when i was trying to be straight i was lying to my self and evry one i no some people say how do u no i know because i havent eva had felings both sexual and in a partnership for any girl i eva seen i always had feling for boys in a more relationship way so just came out to most people i no”
Posted by liam on 6th Oct at 6:15PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 15 currently i am pretty sure im gay, naked women dont turn me on, where as a guy with his shirt off will get me very aroused... i am a closet case.... and i have heard lots of things... that its a 'phase' and that all people go through it. i hit puberty very early...
and i was wondering.... what should i do?? i was thinking of coming out to a friend i know (who is gay) this weekend and possibly some other people, my parents i dont think would take it that hard.... and i think they would be supported... but i dont know what to do”
Posted by Jonny on 1st Oct at 5:18PM (flag as inappropriate)
i think the first time i realised i liked girls was when i was about 14 maybe 15. i think i always felt more drawn to women even though i still liked guys, at first i just ignored it thinking nothing of t except a few crazy hormones and a faze, am 19 now and havent been with a women but still find some women hot,now i always tried to deny it thinking it was a faze but now that am older im realising that maybe it isnt a faze, and then on other hand i think if i went with a women that would confirm my sexuality. I know some people tell their parents but i think if i was gay or a confirmed bi-sexual i still wouldnt tell them, simply because it wouldnt change anything and its up to me what sex i go for, for some people that could be a shock thinking that you shuld alwys tell your parents, but i guess thats just how i see it, to me its not their business and it kinda feels like tellin your parents who you have slept with. im not saying that telling them is a bad choice its just not an option for me.”
Posted by Emma on 1st Oct at 12:00PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 14 years old and im a lesbian, i havn't found the courage to tell my parents yet though because im afraid of what they will think. Ive known since i was about 11 years old and came out in secondary school at the age of around 12. When i told my closest friends they was shocked and 'disowned' me so to speak but after 6 months or so they was fine with it and treated me the same as they always have done. Now i know that true friends will always stand by you no matter what.”
Posted by Jade on 30th Sep at 9:14PM (flag as inappropriate)
I was 15 when I came out to my family, which wasn't so bad. However I was also drunk, which was pretty bad. All of my family took it well, but i felt that i had let myself down by coming out drunk. I felt like being gay was my secret against the world and something that only I knew. I wanted to come out as proud as I felt, but i ended up coming out as a hammered, hysterical idiot. I woke up the next day feeling terrible on many levels. Trust me dont use dutch courage to come out, you get more respect for using actual courage!”
Posted by Paul on 30th Sep at 8:49PM (flag as inappropriate)
i am 14 years old and im a lesbian, i havn't found the courage to tell my parents yet though because im afraid of what they will think. Ive known since i was about 11 years old and came out in secondary school at the age of around 12. When i told my closest friends they was shocked and 'disowned' me so to speak but after 6 months or so they was fine with it and treated me the same as they always have done. Now i know that true friends will always stand by you no matter what.”
Posted by Jade on 30th Sep at 8:48PM (flag as inappropriate)
i always knew i was "different" and i used to get bullied by people when i was about 12/13 years old and i lost a lot if not all my male friends. i first thought i was bi and i think i was denying i was gay. I've told everyone at school now and all my friends were not surprised in the slightest! my parents are cool with it, my dad may take a bit longer to get used to it but they are so supportive. but it felt like such a relief to tell everyone and i now feel like i can be myself.”
Posted by toby on 30th Sep at 8:16PM (flag as inappropriate)
well im 14 now, and i first kinda experienced feelings for girls when i was about 6. a young age i know, then as i got older i realised i was bi, or maybe. i question my sexuality everyday, but i know i have interest for both sexes. i have a boyfriend and he completely understands that. i told my parents, and my friends but something went wrong and the whole of my year found out. im in year 10 now and i still get bullied because of it, well i am who i am and its not going to change because of a few names. yeah i lost friends because of it, but at least now i know who my true friends are.”
Posted by [No first name supplied] on 25th Sep at 2:02PM (flag as inappropriate)
by the time i was 17 i felt like i wanted to explore more but with women n i quite enjoyed it it scares me tht whn i walk around near my mums house the call me names im 24 now i fully out but it jus that ppl around my mums wat does my head in but most of all im proud who i am i.”
Posted by Jane on 25th Sep at 9:30AM (flag as inappropriate)
i think its wrong that gays, lesbians and bisexuals don't get enough told about their sexuality. they should be given sexual advice if they want it, when sex education is given in schools. i also think that its seriously wrong for people to think that because one of their friends or colleagues has recently come out of the closet they should be treated differently, ignored or bullied. people should accept anyones sexuality especially if its their friends. if i was gay then i think the hardest part for me would be to tell my friends”
Posted by Shane on 23rd Sep at 8:42PM (flag as inappropriate)
well i first realised i was gay at the beggining of year 10 and im now 3 weeks in the start of year 11 and ive been through soo much stress with it all in the past year and its only in the past 4 months ive told my mum and dad only because they knew i was depressed and they were worried soo i had to tell them, and they were completely fine about it and they have supported me since!
and in the past 2 months i have came out completely to everyone and its such a good feeling to get everything off your chest.
at first i was soo depressed about it all and i struggled to come to terms with it but i went counselling for 2 months and it really helped me get the confidence i needed!
im 15 and i go to school and i tell you now, i soo far have not had a problem with anyone, ive had no abuse and ive still got all my friends, and ive even got closer to everyone because everyone knows how hard it is.
seriously, if your like i was when i first realised i was gay, talk to someone because not telling anyone and keeping it all in doesn't help! i felt so alone and now im proud of myself because of the drastic change to it all.
soo please, talk to someone if you are struggerling with it! :)”
Posted by Ben on 23rd Sep at 8:28PM (flag as inappropriate)
I cameout when i was 14 to my friends but i daren't tell my dad but i have told my mum shes totally cool about it. People think its hard to tell your parents but it isn't it's pretty easy so if your gay tell them. :)”
Posted by Luke on 23rd Sep at 7:56PM (flag as inappropriate)
i properly came out when I was 17 when i started seriously seeing a guy who was 10 years older than me. I had known for years. My parents were upset but they got used to it and are now completely supportive. My 3 brothers all said they knew years before and it was the best thing i did. My sexuality was out in the open and I could stop feeling weird, uncomfortable, unhappy and I could now concentrate on just being human”
Posted by andrew on 23rd Sep at 7:55PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out at the age of 16, I thought I were Gay first, then claimed I were bi but in the end I realised I were Gay. The first person I told was one of my teachers, I never have told my parents!”
Posted by Sam on 22nd Sep at 3:56PM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out when I was just about to head to University-being from a small communitty it was really difficult at first and I struggled. I moved away to University however and I have never looked back-Im happy with who I am and if anyone has a problem-that's thir issue not mine! Be proud of who you are!”
Posted by Louise on 17th Sep at 8:58PM (flag as inappropriate)
it took me 6 yrs to come out i knew i had very strong feelings towards women and had experiences with men but that just fel wrong and i felt very happy to be with a woman i met my girlfriend 2 and half yrs ago and i we r still happily together i told my parents i am a lesbian and they all accepted the fact and they all accept and welcome my girlfriend parents accept that we r a couple and r very happy for us i now feel people should be aware of how difficult it is for people and stop hiding and come out of the closet .thanks”
Posted by laura on 17th Sep at 8:57AM (flag as inappropriate)
I came out as gay at the age of 26. I knew from my early teens i was gay, my parents then when talking about gay people had a very negative outlook. Through my teens i disguised my sexuality and had regular girlfriends, my friends always would wind me up that i was gay, which i would always deny and have another one night stand with a girl as to prove my masculinity!!!! As i got older, more mature and confident within myself i decided i was wasting my life keeping up the lies and decite. At 26 i told one of my sisters and she said she already knew? shortly after my other sister 'outed' me to my mother (lol now) at the time it was a very difficult time of my life, a lot of tears and upset, my mums was more upset that i had gone through my teens and early twenties with this secret and fear. Ten years on from then i have a fantastic relationship with my mum and dad (i get on better now with my dad then i ever did???) my parents and sisters and there children have welcomed my partner and my nieces and nephews think its cool to have a gay uncle, and one of my nephews is gay, he had the courage to come out at 17, im very proud of him. If i had any regrets it would be i had come out to my family and friends in my teens, advice to any teen who knows they are gay "however bad you imagine your family reaction to you being gay, they will still love you and you will be able to accept and love yourself"”
Posted by Dave on 17th Sep at 6:50AM (flag as inappropriate)
i came out when i was 18, to my parents anyway, my friends had known for a couple of years before. telling my parents didn't turn out how i'd imagined and by the end of the same day i'd told them i wasn't sure. now i'm 21 they have gotten over it and i've been living happily with my partner for 2 years.”
Posted by Aden on 16th Sep at 8:33PM (flag as inappropriate)
i wish i came out when i was at school but i was too scared to and was confused with everyone elses views, so i never come out in being gay until i was 21 but in the mean time i lived the normal life and found a girl friend and had a baby boy whos 2 now. but i am very happy with my life and happy in being gay and everyone knowing, i just wish i could have told people soooner”
Posted by danny on 10th Sep at 4:41PM (flag as inappropriate)
sexy daddy :) hehe, told my mum i was gay this summer, was horrible, she said 'your not going to have a proper future' which hurt abit, i think she finally has accepted me being gay, but im not sure wheather she is aware im into older guys (etc daddies and bears), she knows im seeing an older guy now whos 40 but she hasnt met him and i dont really want her to as i think it will be another big disappointment to her.”
Posted by Danny -17 on 9th Sep at 11:31PM (flag as inappropriate)