Sexperience

30 posted so far

1. I am 22 year old woman from Sweden. I am an egg donor and after the last procedure was done I got my period back as usual in may. UnfortunatelyI had forgot to collect my p-rings from the pharmacy so I thought that I should be free from added hormones for a month and see what that feels like. I didnt have sex for a week around the days when I probably ovulated. My period in june didnt show up but I thought that it must have been a bit disturbed from the egg donation.

   At the end of june I finally ordered tests on the internet and I was pretty chocked to find out that I was pregnant. I'll be doing a home abortion on sunday when I'll bee in week 8. How ironic...

   But I believe I have the same attitude towards it as Karen, I dont feel guilty and its not ment to happen yet.”

   Posted by [No first name supplied] on 8th Jul at 9:24PM (flag as inappropriate)

2. i was 16 when i got pregnant by my boyfriend of 3 months, i was terrified. i thought about abortion but then i realised that i was the 1 who had let this happen, it was nobodys fault but my own and my partner and it certainly was not my babys fault.i have lived with the consequences of my actions and am a brilliant parent.the dad and i are still together and we have a healthy baby boy.i do not regret my decision.the thing that makes me sick is that when the lady at the clinic told me i was pregnant she said "i have bad news for you" even tho she didnt know that i hadnt planned my pregnancy.then she gave me 10 or so leaflets about abortion and tried to book me an abortion on the spot.think of all the girls who may have killed their babies because of people like this.i guess what i have believe in is that you should live with the consequences of your actions.i'm 18 now, and i like to think that the next time i get pregnant it will be planned.to all those girls out there who are in the same situation i was in, please dont get rid of your baby because of the pressure you are feeling from other people.be sure that it is what you want to do!”

   Posted by emma on 19th Apr at 6:57PM (flag as inappropriate)

3. It is so refreshing to hear your feelings on abortion. Often even us pro-choicers make abortion seem like it will be a HUGE issue for every woman, and often, it's just not. It's just something that we've got to do. Thanks for sharing.”

   Posted by Kara on 2nd Apr at 2:38AM (flag as inappropriate)

4. Reading these responses is a frightening experience in itself as so many women seemed to have punished themselves so much. I had an abortion two weeks ago and I am just coming to terms with it now. It has definitely been the hardest decision I've ever had to make and like so many women the main thing I regret is ending up in the position to make such a decision. However I feel I have made the right one. I don't feel I have to apologise for wanting to enjoy my youth and finish my degree. I want a child when I am in the position to make a home and give it the best possible start in life. The thought of bringing up a child with the nagging regret of never wanting it in the first place is too hideous to contemplate.
   I don't take my actions lightly and I do feel an element of guilt however I hope to deal with this and move on. It's too early to tell what the repercussions will be but I take responsibility for my decision and feel I know myself well enough to know I will not punish myself for the rest of my life.
   People who don't agree with abortions at all have no compassion for mistakes. We all make them! This whole experience has been a huge lesson in humility.”

   Posted by Abigail on 1st Apr at 2:16AM (flag as inappropriate)

5. i had an abortion last august just before my 18th birthday. it was the most traumatic experience i have ever been in and it is definately not to be taken lightly. me and my boyfriend were quite excited about having a baby but then when we sat down and thought logically about it i was terrified. i felt i hadnt alot to offer a baby, i was in the middle of doing my A Levels and would have to leave school. i was 8 weeks when i had the abortion and the feeling you have afterwatds is undescribable, and i think about my baby every day. it is something you really really need to think about because no matter how strong you think you are or how much you dont want a baby, it does effect you.”

   Posted by [No first name supplied] on 31st Mar at 4:36PM (flag as inappropriate)

6. I was pregnant and at 35 weeks my daughter was stillborn, i cannot even put into words the pain and hurt i feel every second of the day, a pain that will never go away for the rest of my life and will never heal and to read what people have wrote about having an abortion and not being bothered or it not affecting them angers me so much, how can you say such a thing? Its a persons life your messing about with here and some poor people can't have babies and here you are aborting them! I understand there are certain reasons for having an abortion but if you don't want children then don't let yourself fall pregnant”

   Posted by [No first name supplied] on 30th Mar at 10:16PM (flag as inappropriate)

7. im afraid i dont agree with abortion at all! i think if someone thinks they are old enough and mature enough to be having sex they should levie with the conciquences. the safest way if you dont want the risk of getting pregnant is to not have sex. a baby is formed by 24 weeks...i felt my baby kick before i was 24 weeks pregnant. its horrible to think that a life is being sacrificed because it was a "mistake" dont do it in the first place then! i really cant understand why someone would do it, i know people have their own reasons but i also beleive that some people see abortion as an easy way out. im sorry if i have offended anyone but i cant change what i feel.”

   Posted by helen on 30th Mar at 8:57PM (flag as inappropriate)

8. i had an abortion at 15 and think about it daily, i am now 16.

   the condom split and the morning after pill failed this happended loosing my virginity so i was completly shocked by whole thing.

   i suffered extreme pain for about 2 weeks after my operation but i feel i deserve every second of it, i will never be so stupid again and will always be extra safe from now on.

   this may sound strange but a close friend of mine died last year and i feel like i had the chance to make a life but i chose not too, i have this guilt for the rest of my life although i know i made the right decision”

   Posted by Emma on 27th Jan at 7:24PM (flag as inappropriate)

9. I had an abortion in February of this year. My partner at the time did not seem to want the commitment of a baby. I have 2 children already. I think about the baby daily. Subsequently my partner finished with me within 2 months of the abortion. It was a very difficult decision but i had to think of the impact of a new child on the family dynamics without a father who i did not believe would take any responsibility.”

   Posted by Lucy on 19th Nov at 8:42PM (flag as inappropriate)

10. I had an abortion when I was 17 and I always wonder what would have been. My boyfriend at the time was upset that I did not consult him and not long afterward he got another girl pregnant! I don't ever belive that should have gone through with it but I have felt guilty for 13 years and I am about to lose another relationship as I am pressuring my current boyfriend to start a family.”

    Posted by Melinda on 19th Oct at 10:39PM (flag as inappropriate)

11. I don't know if taking the morning after pill counts, but I did that the day after or perhaps a bit later, I lost my virginity. I was 21 years old and I ...I can't even think now why I did it.
    I stayed in bed and wept and wept. Before I had succumbed to my lust I knew and I affirmed to myself that if I had sex I had to be willing to take responsibility for the creation of a child. I affirmed it to myself before the act, but oh, in the morning I was not ready, my mind raced with all the things I would have to give up if I had a child. I panicked and I was wracked with guilt because I had planned to save myself for marriage and I couldn't understand what and why I had done.

    Then my tutor at college talked to me. He coaxed me into telling him what happened and I did in floods of tears. And he said "But you're not ready for a child" and I said "I know" so he said "the first thing we have to do is get you ...can you get the morning after pill from the chemist these days, I think you can" and you could, and I did.

    Now... I can't help thinking that it is wrong for me to enjoy the freedom I have, the reputation I have, the pleasure I have that I would not have if I had a child. Part of me thinks I should never ever get close enough to a man again to let anything like that happen again, that I should never get a chance to get married or ever have sex with anyone else. Another part of me worries that God might punish me by preventing me ever having children, like this child I would have had (and I am not even sure I got pregnant... but at 21, I would have been near my peak fertility) would be my only chance and I killed it so I should never be given that chance again or something.

    I feel like a murderer, but I didn't actually break any laws, there is no punishment I can endure that will make it feel like I have atoned for what I have done. Sometimes I think its too hard to live a virtuous life from now on because its too great a thing to overcome - but at the same time I know that death would not absolve me of responsibility, its just a fleeting escapist thought. I will have to work hard at life and give what I can, and endure the guilt of having, really an amazingly enjoyable and privilaged life even after all I have done and hope it gives me the opportunity to give back enough to the world, not to erase what I have done, because I never can do that - but... to be of some value to others.”

    Posted by Sam on 13th Oct at 6:27PM (flag as inappropriate)

12. Hi i had a abortion after my two girls my eldest was 4 and youngest was 2 (i think?) when my youngest was a baby i was going through servier postnatal depression i was placed in a hostel as there was no beds in hospital for me, i was having thoughts of suicide id even planed my death all i was waiting for was a good time when i never had the girls, i couldn't talk to nobody or want to, id cry in a corner at least three times a day it was bad but the worst thing was i never even new i was depressed or ill, my partner and i nearly split i think we even did at the time but he took me to the doctors to see what was going on, i told him there wasn't anything wrong with me but he took me anyway, the doctor put me on some sort of tablets then after two week he uped the dose as it wasn't working, well i was on cloud nine didn't even care if the house burned down infrount of me, i think it was about 4 month latter i stoped taking the tablets and felt brill i was better we all thought brilliant, until i got pregnant again, i was so scaird and terrified of feeling the same and going through all that again that even the thought of having the baby sickened me, i was scaird, we went to see the doctor and the comment i got was "i suppose theres nothing i can do to change your mind is there" id told him why i wanted the abortion, we went to the hospital and came home the same day i felt brilliant that i would not be going through the depression again. two years later i herd that there is things that thay can do so i wouldn't feel like that but the doctor never even told me about this, if i would have been told about this i don't think i would have had the abortion, for months after id found this out i was a mess wishing id not done it and getting very upset, and not beening able to tell my partner about how i felt was the worst thing as he didn't want the abortion in the first place i couldn't tell him how i felt now,after a while i learnt to live with my decision. i now have a baby boy 4 month old my eldest is 11 just turned and middle girl is 8 i love them more than anything life is good now. i just wanted to share my experience with you as i think there must be more than just me that's gone through this alone and wanted to say if your going through this now you will get through it and be ok. xxx”

    Posted by kimberley on 8th Oct at 5:20PM (flag as inappropriate)

13. I had an abortion in january this year at the age of 19. we used a condom but it split - so i took the morning after pill the very next day. but still ended up being pregnant.
    After the abortion i felt relieved but also at the same time sad/guilty, and even more guilty as my mum and dad wanted me to keep it. i still think about it everyday, sometimes i regret it, but i did the right thing at the time for me.
    It took me a very long time to have sex again as i didn't trust any contraception and was really scared of it happening again.
    I guess i will always wonder what if!!”

    Posted by Tanya on 7th Oct at 8:30PM (flag as inappropriate)

14. I have just had an abortion less then a month ago and I don't feel bad about.
    My boyfriend and I decided that we want to try for a family as we have everything we want to have a family (i.e nice house, good jobs and loving releationship) I fell pregnant within 2 month of coming off the pill and this is when the problems started.
    I suddenly realised that this was not what I wanted at all! It was horrible everyone was so happy for us but I was screaming inside that it was wrong. In the end I became desperate and finally told my boyfriend, he was amazing and siad that as long as we had each other and i did what felt right to me was the only hing that was important.
    I have no regrets about having an abortion, i know for me it was right but my lasting problem has been that I feel I should have wanted a baby, and i didn't and there are a lot of women who would have given their right arm to have been in the position I was.”

    Posted by Hannah on 7th Oct at 8:06PM (flag as inappropriate)

15. i am 18 and have had two abortions my 1st one was at the age of 14, i was with a boy who i had sex with at 13 and felt i that i needed to be wanted i had a abortion. that abortion didnt effect my life at all as i think i was to young to reali understand my 2nd abortion was at 16 and that was because the babys dad did not want to no and my parents didnt agree with me having a baby that didnt have a dad in the end i agreed to have a abortion and it effected me to a high levle i took 3 tablet over doeses after and tried to self harm more then 8 times i have not ever got over it and now being 18 i am 7 months pregnant and apart of me wonders am i trying to replace my two babies i havent got but then i think maybe now i am in a more stable situation its the right time for me and if i did have my two babies i would be no where near where i am no, but abortions are not easy at any age and i do regret them at times but at others i think they would never have what i want to give my children in life”

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 7th Oct at 8:02PM (flag as inappropriate)

16. Im 18, a student and am in a long distance relasonship. I have fallen pregnant twice in the last year i did go though with a abortion for both of the unwanted pregnancys and still think its a good idea but do have a few regrets with whats going to happen in the future.... you would had though that i would hvae learnt the first time but no, i have no excuse just that we were silly and wasnt save.. im am now on the 3 month injection but were also using comdoms.”

    Posted by Lucy on 7th Oct at 8:00PM (flag as inappropriate)

17. After my husbadn leaving me I was feeling very low and ended up having my first one night stand...condom split and I took morning after pill. I am now about to have a termination for this stupid accident and feel extremely scared”

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 5th Oct at 7:51AM (flag as inappropriate)

18. i had an abortion when i was 15, awful experience!
    i was 13 weeks and it took me about 2 years to stop crying about it.

    the father of the baby and i are 21 now and have been together nearly 7 years we had our daughter also unplanned at 18, i just couldnt go through another abortion.

    i wouldnt reccomemend it to anyone unless there was a serious reason no to be pregnant.

    ”

    Posted by sarah on 1st Oct at 6:24PM (flag as inappropriate)

19. I have found out last week I`m pregnant at 41 yrs of age!! I already have one child, I have to go and see my doctor as I have decided to have an abortion, I know I will be very sad. But I can`t have another child, I`m not taking this decision lightly.”

    Posted by Caroline on 1st Oct at 10:42AM (flag as inappropriate)

20. i had an abortion when i was 16 and i found it very hard to deal with and i had to have counciling in the end as i could not cope. I went it alone and it was the worst thing ever. i always wonder what my twins would of looked like and been like if i had of had them.”

    Posted by katie on 30th Sep at 8:59PM (flag as inappropriate)

21. I had 2 terminations - 1 at 19 and 1 at 20. This was 16 & 17 years ago. Both pregnancies were desired and planned but unfortunately I became gravely ill both times by about 4 weeks in. I developed several coinciding conditions each time which made it dangerous and possibly fatal for both myself and the babies if I continued the pregnancies. The terminations were a medical necessity to save my life as directed by my doctor on the first occasion and as determined by myself on the second occasion when I could see that things were going the same way. In both cases I never made it beyond 8 weeks and came rather close to losing my life. Because of that, I do not feel ashamed or guilty, but it is still one of my life's major regrets and travesties and I was quite mentally unbalanced and depressed for a couple of years afterward. Although I've moved on and I fully understand that this had to happen, there still isn't a day that goes by when I don't think at least briefly about it and wonder how different things could have been and how I ever got past it and went on to have such a wonderful life. I now have a 3-year-old son with my husband of nearly 14 years and I wouldn't trade him or my experiences that led to his birth for the world. With this pregnancy, it took us 9 years to get up the courage to try because of what I'd gone through before (we had in fact determined to never try and only changed our minds after that length of time) and over a year to conceive. On this occasion, I also became gravely ill with many of the same problems as before and many additonal ones. However, medicine has advanced in those 17 years and I made sure to secure the services of the top OB/Gyn in the country the moment I became pregnant (despite it being beyond our means, we saved and sacrificed to get me the best care), having researched it for the whole time we were trying. I made it through by the skin of my teeth and with the love and care of my husband and doctor. It was touch and go, but my baby's health was never compromised and although he was born 5 and 1/2 weeks prematurely by emergency caesarean, he was a healthy bonny baby from the start with no problems whatsoever. He was the size and health of a full-term baby and was able to go home with me after only 6 days. Although I nearly didn't get through it, it was worth every moment of agony and illness and he is a force to be reckoned with. His vitality in the womb kept me inspired and kept me going. I like to think that those early terminations, as horrific as they were, allowed me to live and thrive until a time when medical science could cope better with my problems and allow me and my baby to live so that I could be the best mom in the world to the best little guy ever born. To think that he wouldn't even have existed, in fact I may not have existed long enough to meet his father and have him, if I hadn't had those necessary terminations...”

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 30th Sep at 8:51PM (flag as inappropriate)

22. Thank you, I'm so glad to see another woman speaking honestly about it! I had one earlier this year after two forms of (non-hormonal) contraception somehow failed, though there was no warning that they had.

    I was absolutely shell-shocked when I found out I was pregnant. I think I knew before I did the test, but when I did it was one of the most horrifying moments of my life. I knew immediately I'd have to have an abortion because it's not the right time for us to have a child for a number of reasons.

    I told my partner as soon as I found out, and he was so supportive and one of the only reasons I got through the trauma of it all. My parents were shocked but supportive and pragmatic as well, which was very helpful.

    It wasn't a decision I took lightly - I felt as if I'd been plunged into a deep well with no way out, darkness all around, and it was hard, so hard. But I knew it was the right thing to do, so I did it, and I didn't and don't have any regrets. It's heartbreaking at the time, and you do feel empty and sad for a week or two afterwards, but you also know that you've done the right thing for you at the time and you knew what you were doing, so besides the physical sense of loss and hormones being all over the place it's not such a big deal.

    I'd be lying if I said I ever really think about it these days, six months later. I don't feel upset about it, I don't regret it, I don't get upset by it at all. What does upset me is people judging women and trying to guilt-trip and condemn women who've made that decision and presuming to interfere with their bodies and their futures, without giving a second thought to the people themselves, calling them selfish, stupid, ignorant, and 'damaging their bodies'. Nobody takes the decision lightly.

    The only thing I really regret is that I found myself in that situation in the first place and having to make the decision. But I'm glad I did, and I think more people need to talk about it so it loses some of the shock and taboo.”

    Posted by Clarissa on 29th Sep at 9:23PM (flag as inappropriate)

23. i had an abortion just over a month ago now at 15 weeks, the area in which i live didn't cover abortions this late in pregnancy so i had to go to London (it was there or Liverpool, but i have no idea of where anything is in Liverpool) to have it done. I chose to have a surgical abotion and i had to take tablets to relax my cervix, it caused what felt like the worst period cramps in my life, that was the only time i stopped and thought 'i shouldnt be doint this', as i came round from my anesthetic i cried for what i did, but ive not once felt guilty since, i made the best choice for my baby, i was alone following my partner walking out on me as he couldnt cope with how ill i became with morning sickness (i was hospitalised twice because of it) and i had no family support.”

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 29th Sep at 6:40PM (flag as inappropriate)

24. I had two terminations; first one at age 33, second 38, both pregnancies by the same man, the father of my youngest son. Both times contraception failed- second even after morning after pill AND coil. There was NO way I was prepared to continue with the preganancies; I was convinced that I would be bringing children up alone + I was right - my partner left me on numerous occassions, I was at university during the first + envisiged being almost retiremant age when the second child reached near adulthood. I have no feelings of guilt/regret + rarely think about them BUT that does not mean I took the decisions lightly. The only regret I've ever felt is that I was in the position to have to make the decisions in the first place.”

    Posted by Ruth on 29th Sep at 3:27PM (flag as inappropriate)

25. After my abortion i felt relieved but this turns to guilt you know you have done the right thing but there is always that little tinge of guilt and what if ..... i did regret it for a few months but children are a massive thing not to be taken lightly and sometimes it's just not right.”

    Posted by Joe on 24th Sep at 7:23PM (flag as inappropriate)

26. I fell pregnant 10 months after my 3rd child was born. My husband worked away alot and I felt I could't cope with 4 children under 6!!!! My husband took it harder than I did and it was the hardest decision we have ever made but I don't regret it.”

    Posted by Sue on 23rd Sep at 7:54PM (flag as inappropriate)

27. I had an abortion when I was 19, i am now 22 and wish i had thought more about it before making my mind up. I never told any of my family and I think about my abortion everyday.”

    Posted by ruth on 18th Sep at 1:53PM (flag as inappropriate)

28. finally!!! someone who had the same feelings as myself regarding my abortion, i had made the decision in my early teens never to have children and it's not one i've ever regretted and i am now in my late forties, i was 25 when i got pregnant due to a condom failure, i was married, and still am to the same man, who respected my decision and who as a result had a vasectomy to ensure it wouldn't happen again as i was unable to take the contraceptive pill.it has always made me so angry that women are made out to be less than human if they have an abortion IT IS NOBODY ELSES BUSINESS but that of the woman concerned”

    Posted by shelia on 16th Sep at 8:22PM (flag as inappropriate)

29. I had an abortion 2 years ago.. wen i found out i was pregnant my boyfriend at the time was very supportive and made me feel reasured.when i told my parents thry hit the roofand were very upset ,they originally suggested an abortion ,but i was dead against the idea.after some time thye accepted that i was pregnant and was going to keep it,at this stage the boyfriwnd who had supported me totallt changed and got cold feet.He told me he didnt want the baby or anything got to do wit it .. so i decided that i couldnt bring a child up on my own.. i had an abortion it was very very hard and heart breaking but for the best”

    Posted by [No first name supplied] on 16th Sep at 7:53PM (flag as inappropriate)

30. I had an abortion about 4 years ago. Now that I am no longer with the partner I got pregnant by it is a lot easier to deal with the emotional side of having a termination although at the time it was very hard. Because my partner at the time was the main advocte for having an abortion I found it easy to blame him for the subsequent depression and feeling of loss. I know now that I made the right choice but right or not I think it is all too easy to underestimate the emotional aftermath of an abortion. Nobody wants to talk about it since it is such a taboo subject and not something you'd discuss with friends as easily as, say, a break up or berevement. If it ever came up in conversation friends would look uneasy and change the subject so its hard to fully come to terms with something that, although socially accepted, is still not talked about.”

    Posted by Siobhan on 10th Sep at 9:59AM (flag as inappropriate)